Bi-Polar Tourists and me..............

And here I was all optimistic that September was gonna be a good month......
Lo and behold 2 days ago, arrives the craziest mofo tourist I have ever met in my entire life. Lets call her BP as in Bipolar.
She arrived panicky and proceeded to screech her sob story about a crazy travelling mate who she dumped in Athens and had now followed her to Santorini. BP had informed crazy lady 2 they WOULD NOT be meeting here and that she had changed the reservation to a single room. We all still on track here???

So, she arrives, meanwhile CL2 (crazy lady 2) had called here requesting pick up. What ensued was an hour long procedure that Black Ops would have been proud of. I managed to get rid of CL2 and get BP here solo without any drama, or so I thought.

I next spent 2 hours appeasing BP and telling her she was safe. She finally calmed down and went to her room. Phew, thought I, she'll go to sleep and all will be OK......AHA! How naive was I???

Sure enough at 7:45am my cell phone rang. I picked it up sleepily and on the other end came the high pitched screech of BP. She raged about how the staff here were treating her badly, she was afraid of her life that she would be murdered by CL2 somewhere on Santorini etc etc. This phone call went on for 30 minutes and induced a very bad tension headache.......

By the time I got to work at 3, she had calmed down. At first, I thought it was cause she had taken a Valium or Prozac or something but no.
What had caught BP's attention? The arrival of a gentleman with a couple. Its been a day and half since she stuck her claws into this poor unwitting soul and I haven't heard a peep from her.....

And THANK GOD she leaves tomorrow!!!! But, of course, the best part of the story? I overheard her talking about me because noise travels here. This shows how delusional this woman is. A) Oh yeah "atlantis_y2k"s a sweet girl but I think she's got the hots for you. B) I wouldn't get involved with her because she works here and it could cause alot of problems, plus she's greek, we all know how crazy they are!"

Ok, sweetheart, first of all, the guy is old enough to be my father and secondly, I have a hot ass boyfriend who wouldn't touch your crazy ass with a ten foot pole! Yes, dear readers, this woman I have to deal with on a daily basis.......


In other news, Deutschbro was here and hooked up with a celtic maid, according to him, its love....time will tell.

the Brits had a BBQ that I unfortunately missed due to BP and sleeping on my couch with the cat on my lap.

Mother arrives tomorrow for 10 days and is renting a car....WATCH OUT SANTORINI! SHES MOBILE!

21st September sees the arrival of one of our favourite New York couples......see you at the bar for some tequila koukla!

And finally today is a day of remembrance so I feel it only apt to add a quote from one of my favourite authors, Khalil Gibran.


"I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit."

For all those who were lost on this tragic day 9 years ago, you shall not be forgotten, but rather remembered with the love and respect that you deserve.

All Hail SEPTEMBER...............

In less than a week of September you can already see a marked difference to the island we call home.

The streets have, for the most part, gone back to normality, people are in a friendlier mood and the universe seems to have gone back into alignment.

It seems a large amount of people left the island to attend the U2 concert on Friday night, and according to various tweets and FB status' the concert was particularly magnificent, with Snow Patrol supporting the main act.
Ah, those boys have done me proud (considering I grew up in the same part of Dublin they did). The question is now, are they going to come to Santorini to record their new album as has been reported by the media?? I certainly hope so, would be great to have U2 here for a couple of months.....

So lads, congratulations on yet another unbelievable live show......you truly are awesome!

Also, on Thursday night, there was a BBQ at the Serb's house.....great food, drunk serbians, in the avli of her beautiful house, what better way to kick off this our very favourite of months???

And now, I am going to face something that perhaps will draw certain consternation from certain readers. I have noticed in the last few years that our little island has grown in the number of immigrants working here. No, im not talking about serbians, americans, canadians or polish. Im talking about, the most touchy of subjects, the albanian population of Santorini.
While I have always been an advocate of people having the right to emigrate in order to find work I do have one or two pointers for people from this country to make themselves more integrated.

What upsets me is that they (and i speak generally here) seem to cluster in groups. The ones here on Santorini are all from the same town in Albania, and they don't socialise or try to integrate with the locals, nor do they seem to have any interest in embracing the fact that they are not in albania anymore.

Another thing, they complain constantly about Greece, how awful it is, if they are so unhappy here then why do they stay?

Thirdly, some, not all, are involved in certain criminal enterprises. I won't go into details but the thing is we have enough problems with greek criminals, I dont want you in my country if thats what you are doing.

And finally, I saw a sign for a concert that is going to be in Kotsogiannopoulos soon. Its an albanian singer coming to the island. Ok, i get you have a right to attend a concert of your favourite singer and yes that person may very well be from your country. However, seeing as I accept that, why do you get offended when I play my music in my home (not very loud) but I have to listen to your albanian folk music at FULL VOLUME at the weekend cause all your extended family etc have come by for a visit.

Ok, the last thing was supposed to be the final thing but sorry........one more pet peeve. STOP PARKING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE, more specifically stop parking outside the entrance to my house....I have a right to be able to come and go as I please and I can't do that if your Lancia is parked right across the entrance.

I have asked politely and been aggressively answered.....We'll see how funny it is when i get the police to tow your damn car......Why the aggressiveness??
To readers, I asked the man who parks his car there if it was possible to park it further down or up because i cant get into my house. I didn't shout or use obscenities, I just asked.....

and what was the reply??? I just finished work and i want to park my car here, because its beside my house. Yeah Ill move it but you have no right to tell me what to do..........

His rudeness threw me for six and i didn't know what to say...so readers, Im going to let you in on a little secret....when i got drunk, i let the air out of one of his tyres....that'll teach him........(im actually quite embarassed by that bad display of behaviour but he deserved it)

Anyway, back to September, the mother arrives next week for 10 days so i see early mornings at the beach and nights out for dinner in the near future..

Topchef bought me the most beautiful dress yesterday so thank you!!!!

And tonight, there is a little soiree at my abode for a few close friends, although there's a rumour abounding about big bottles of mojito mix being brought along, not sure how little or quiet the soiree will become......

Be forewarned, if you live in or around the Firastefani area and hear loud voices in a variety of languages...my apologies, its me and my nearest and dearest!!!!!!!!!

KALO MINA EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!

August - A Review!

Its the last day of August, finally!!!!

So I figured I should write a review of this, the most hated of months.

It started out like it always do with the mass descent of Greeks and Italians onto our little island, clogging up our small streets and spending as little as possible on their vacation.

It ended or rather, is ending with me ready to knock Topchef's head off, gladiator stylee and take my own vacation. Well, I will be taking a vacation in October so there's another 45 days or so till then......Just for clarification, I have not beheaded Topchef just yet, but boy is he asking for a kickin'!

I went for breakfast the other day with Ms. UK and the food was awesome (like always) but the service by the male co-owner was atrocious. Ok dude, i get it, you have been here for August too but to bark at us when we are ordering food just ain't right! Im sorry I came to eat at your restaurant, you made it painfully obvious that you were pissed I had the gall to think of putting money in your cash register....Sheesh, Ill never make that mistake again! (lie, I went there yesterday again but he wasn't there thankfully)

Now, it seems the weather is starting to calm down a little bit....Unfortunately it also means that humidity is risen to around 75% and my lovely Greek genetics have kicked in so my hair resembles a haystack and I sweat profusely....Pretty sure I scared a little kid the other day when I was stomping up the hill on my way home! Sorry kid, can't help it.

Two nights ago was the Ifestia Festival, while I am usually not impressed by the fireworks Dimos Thiras usually puts on, this year I was really pleasantly surprised.
They went on for almost 30 minutes on the volcano and then there was an extra 20 minutes of fireworks around Fira so BRAVO, you finally managed to put on a good show.....But thats got NOTHING to do with local elections coming up in October, right Mr. Mayor? ;-P

At brunch yesterday, I asked the girls what the gossip was that I have been missing.....first I was told there was none and then 2 very good stories were told which made me think. Hey guys if this ain't gossip then what is???

First, at the Bar the other night was a mother and daughter from the USA, the mother promptly got so drunk she passed out sitting up across from the Bar and then proceeded to throw up all over herself. This wasn't no spring chicken either, she was in her 50's......anyway, some of the guys tried to help but she was a hefty one and they couldn't lift her. So, what was the solution?? The daughter, also drunk, walked to their hotel and brought back a pillow so mommy dearest could take a nap on the street......Now that's just AWESOME!

And then the following day, they came back looking for mommy's white gold and diamond wedding band which was mysteriously lost the previous night. the ring has not been found and now mommy's gotta go back home and explain to daddy where her expensive wedding ring has gone. thank god Im not in her shoes.

Second bit of gossip, Italian pyscho bitch was in the bar the other night, being every inch the crazy ass we all know her to be. this time however, nobody got a black eye. She did however manage to upset the Kiwi enough that she wanted to kill her and thats some strong language for her......

This just in, Kiwi came home last night or rather this morning and just as she was about to go to sleep, some idiots sat at her table on her balcony and proceeded to have a long and loud conversation. A swift bang on the wall made them run off but I find that just plain rude! They're lucky I didn't hear them cause I had so much nevra last night I could have killed someone.

You may ask, why so much nevra???? Ok, its not because of August...its because I went for a big family dinner yesterday, my little bro was celebrating his name day and my phone died of battery.....

What turned me into a crazy angry screaming lunatic was the phone call from Topchef (he called my brothers cell) who proceeded to tell me I upset him because he thought I had turned off the phone on purpose so I could sneak out and get hammered with my friends.

Sorry sweetheart, but if I am going to go out and get wasted I would tell you first....anyway, this isn't the first time, such craziness and jealousy has reared his ugly head so to be honest, I lost the plot.
I got home in such a temper because he had upset me and I couldn't enjoy the night with my family that we of course got into a screaming match which resulted in me basically breaking up with him and drinking a bottle of wine to myself. I then collapsed into bed and actually had a lovely nights sleep.

There's alot to be said for unloading your tension, my shoulder has stopped hurting me now! that being said, right now, Im not sure what the situation is. Im not sure if im single or if I just started a Cold War. You know what I mean, you have a massive fight with your other half and then for like a week or so afterwards you don't have another screaming match, you just barely speak and don't want to look at the other person. Thats what a relationship Cold War is. It ends when one person admits they were wrong and/or apologizes.......
Well, I can see this Cold War lasting like the actual one, cause guess what I WASNT WRONG!!! Ok I got a little out of hand with my comments, but the reason I was angry was justifiable or so i think.......



Anyways, tomorrow September starts, with lovely friendly tourists and hopefully a nice atmosphere. So I have made a plan, Im going to shake off the hell that was August and look forward to September with all the excitement I can muster.

So my dear readers, welcome to September, the madness of August is behind us. We can now walk through the streets of Fira without being blindsighted by a tourist (unless its cruise ship day) and enjoy the beauty of our little island...

KALO MINA! :)

Heat, nevra and me............

There seems to be no break in this relentless heat we are having lately.

TopChef brought home an alarm clock the other night which also tells the temperature. How great you may say! Yeah, did i mention it's a 'Hello Kitty' cube clock that changes into 4 different pastel shades and the 'alarm' is a meow followed by a ringtone???????

To say I am seriously questioning the man's sanity, let alone his other preferences are an understatement. He says its cute and he thought i would like it. Obviously after a year of living together, he hasn't noticed my complete and total aversion to cats in any shape or form, living, in photo's and especially on cube alarm clocks a 35 year old man brings home!!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up this morning stuck to my bedsheets thanks to the heat. And thats with a dehumidifier and a fan going 24/7. So, I woke up feeling icky and annoyed and henceforth my entire day seemed to go on like that.

As I precariously walked down the road towards Fira some MENSA candidate on a scooter whacked into my side. My phone went flying through the air and made a resounding crash. Not to mention the friction burn from the wheel on my leg. I lost it. I mean I totally and completely lost the head. I turned around with what can only be considered a devil stare and was so angry I couldn't speak.

To add insult to injury, the girl who was driving the death trap said i should have been looking where I was going....Sorry darlin' but God didn't give me eyes in the back of my head, nor did he warn me that a moron like you would be on the road today.

I found my voice after getting over the shock and started screaming at her. Then of course i was totally being unreasonable and told her I wanted her name cause i was going to the police station to report her......she got scared then, also because she suddenly realised I wasnt a tourist and apologized profusely.
My response?? I acted like a sullen moody child stuck my chin in the air, made a snorting sound and stamped down towards the square mumbling obscenities under my breath.

I get to work, and am trying to think positive thoughts, balance my Chi or whatever its called when i get a phone call to inform me that I have to stay an extra 2 hours at work to await a late arrival.
Just to be clear, in normal circumstances I wouldn't mind. I rarely leave work once my shift is over, usually hang over to check over certain things but I had made plans this particular night.

I forgot to mention, i had already informed work that I had made plans, which was of no need cause i should have been off the clock but turns out anyway, I ended up missing the cocktails and went straight for beer and Jack Daniels.......(more on that later)

So i threw a total hissy fit in my office. I was completely alone by the way....weeped a little bit at the unfairness of it all and generally acted like a brat.

And then something happened........

I was online reading newspapers when a story popped up about the fires in Moscow and i thought to myself. WOW, how selfish are you? Living in an amazing place, looking at this view every day and having the friends you have.........

and then i realised its AUGUST and i am totally right to be a complete bitch for this entire month ;-P

Anyway, after 2 hours overtime i ended up at The Bar where i was dutifully handed a cold Corona and a shot of JD. The night progressively got more and more messy as more shots were laid on and beer was flowing like nectar from the Gods.

One of the group hooked up with some Italian and another cut and run before the final round of shots. I however, stayed until the sun was just coming up and collapsed into my bed at around 6am.

It's Hotter than the gates of Hades...........

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the person who invented A) Fans and B) Air conditioners otherwise by now I would be a very tired, grouchy seasonal worker. This heat coupled with the humidity is KILLING me! No sign of respite or even a breeze for that matter.

No point in attempting to style my head of rebellious Greek frizz hair (thank you Yiayia) or even wear anything other than a tank top and shorts. Even then, my light linen shorts still make me feel like im wearing wool in the Sahara.
Not to mention that i take my life into my own hands every day walking down that death trap of a road. Yes people, im going to rant now and i have a right to for several reasons.
A: I can't sleep. Not because of the heat, i invested in a super fan a few weeks ago (thank god for my foresight) but thanks to drunken tourists on quad bikes at 4am stopping outside my house to shout about how drunk they are and oh man, they could never drive drunk back home, they would lose their license....Guess what, if you don't stop you will lose more than just a driving license buddy if i get my hands on you.

B: Again drunken tourists, this time using my back yard as a hook up spot, (they're too shy even when inebriated to do anything in the room their beau shares with his buddy) so i have to listen to her say (in a number of different languages) "OMG, you're like the sweetest guy ever, how romantic that we met in Santorini!". Guess what sweetheart, it may have been romantic in the bar at 1am before you got sloshed but at 4am outside my house, its just plain skanky.

C: Drunk fighting couples, admittedly it can be quite interesting to hear why they are fighting and to be honest, its mostly Greek couples (they have a flair for the dramatic) but still why would you broadcast it to the entire neighbourhood? And again, they are greek so its usually 6am as opposed to the usual 3am fights i have gotten used to.

I thank God that its only about another 10 days till the worst is over and things can go back to normal. Nice, polite tourists who make an attempt not to blindside you as you walk down the street.
Less noisy rental cars with responsible (foreign) drivers at the wheel and families who's kids know how to behave.

I went out to eat the other night with a group of friends. Not in Fira, but in Imerovigli and we had a great time. Too much wine was had and i realised only afterwards that we were probably the Loudest people in the entire town and then i felt guilty enough to apologise to the waiter for our behaviour.
Im no saint and i admit it freely so to those who were trying to relax on their hotel balconies that night....Yes it was me and my friends so i apologise profusely for any irritation caused. Not to mention, if you overheard the conversation i again should apologise for the profanity and subject matter.....definately PG13 or higher.

Rumour has it Jack Nicholson is looking to buy property here. How frickin' COOL would that be??? I can just see him walking down to the bar and getting a scotch, I think he would be the greatest neighbour EVER!

There was an altercation last night in Plateia Galli, Imerovigli between 2 taverna owners. A physical one at that and one of the guys almost had a heart attack from the stress of it.......Scary stuff but then again, it is August, we are all a little on edge.

There's been a few free concerts in the main square of Fira the last couple of nights, traditional music mostly, not my kind of thing but either way, i think a really nice idea by the Municipality/Mayor. Looking for votes Mr. Roussos??? :)

The Fraulein's mother is coming to visit on Monday. The Kiwi has a bad cold. The Seniorita had a small BBQ last night which i totally forgot about due to overheating and August fever which from what i gathered was a really nice night, nothing like the drunken debauchery of 4th July.

I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to TopChef for bringing me decadent dessert home almost every night this week to combat my mood swings.....my waistline may disagree but boy, that souffle is somethin'!

Events coming up:
Ifestia festival: recreation of the Volcanic eruption (fireworks display) 28th August, anywhere on the caldera side. Get a good seat in Fira, Firastefani, Imerovigli.
and U2 are coming to record their new album in Santorini, according to various gossip sites, sometime next year!!!!!

The Italians descend along with the humidity...........

And so the horrible month of August is upon us.
Its time to get your game face on and battle through the most horrendous month in a seasonal workers life.

Loud young Italians, rude arrogant Greeks and more traffic than Athens on a weekday, thats what we have to look forward to all month.
Its ironic that we, by we i mean those who have been through this before, somehow seem miffed by the barrage of tourists who descend on our little nisaki this time of year.

Somehow, we seem completely surprised that the most obnoxious people in the cosmos come during the exact same time period every year.

It's almost like the universe plans it......ah, lets ease them into the season..May, June and July will be easy with nice Americans and australians in the hotels and bars. Not so many that you feel suffocated and then once we head into August BAM!
Make way for Captain Obnoxious and his extended family........To say its a nightmare is an understatement.



Case in point, reading some status updates on Twitter, Facebook et al, it took 35 mins to drive from Fira to Imerovigli today!!!! It usually takes less to walk up that mountain to get there.

Speaking of the pedestrian inhabitants of the island, thats just as hazardous. 25 minutes to get from the main square to Kato Fira today......almost half an hour on account of an amalgamation of cruise ship tourists, Italians and Greeks stretching 4 across on the caldera path, not letting anyone else dare get past them.

And another fb comment, how the italians seem to not be able to walk down a street without singing, smoking and talking simultaneously............arrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!

And the humidity is killing me, despite the tourist traffic, walking from home to town is like stepping into a steam room and then doing exercises.....by the time you get to your destination, your clothes are stuck to your back and you look like a monster.
Not to mention, that if you are a woman your hair turns into something reminiscent of Medusa (minus the snakes of course, but just as scary!)

And so dear readers, stay strong, load up on prozac or some other anti psychotic, try to keep your nevra in check and not kill a tourist (its bad for business) and rejoice that in less than 30 days its SEPTEMBER.....Everybody's favourite month.

Water anyone????

Ok, so here's the thing. A phone call was received last night by Hotel Extraordinaire telling him the water coming out of the shower and faucet in the hotel was BROWN and DIRTY!

He goes down to investigate and its not only confined to this one rooms plumbing but in the entire building. You may be asking WHY the water was brown.
Well here it is.....the water supply for this particular hotel comes from the DIMOS THIRAS water supply. What happened was the bright sparks who work in local government 'forgot' to refill the water tank sufficiently which meant the water level dropped so the silt and dirt in the bottom of the tank went into the pipes, hence producing the dirty water.......

You would think that coming to the end of JULY these idiotic public servants would have had the foresight to say, HEY, maybe we should make sure the tank is refilled considering its the beginning of high season and we supply water to tons of hotels but NO! God NO! Why the hell would they provide a public service like that to people who are paying exorbitant prices for the water in the first place.
Let them just have rancid mucky water to shower in......
Bears a resemblance to Marie Antoinette's famous 'let them eat cake' methinks.

If this was any other country i would say, ah its ok, elections are coming up in October but the truth is NO MATTER who takes over from Roussos, the fat B*&^%$d as Mayor i seriously doubt anything will change.

Now, this specific hotel has been threatened with a lawsuit from the guest who complained and it was completely out of their control.......oh the unfairness of it all!!!!!!!!

On to my next topic:
Walking down to Fira yesterday, some twenty something boy racer, not greek, shouted at me... "Hey koukla, come i bring you for good time". I didnt reply i just kept walking after swearing a few obscenities at him and nearly making him crash, but i thought to myself, "what did he actually expect me to do? Run across the street, throw my arms around him and say Take me now, i have been waiting my whole life for a man (and i use the term liberally) like you to come along on his white horse (in this case a run-down 50CC green excuse for a scooter) and sweep my off my feet with such sweet words."
What a total douce bag.

Another thing, the other night, the wicked witch insulted me at an event, completely unprovoked and while my first thought was to plung a fork into her ugly face, i managed to control myself. She ended up looking like the total BITCH that she is, and i the innocent victim of her malicious tongue.......still angry about it though, and am currently in the process of hatching a brilliant revenge strategy.....

Saga, the new After hours club in Monolithos had a guest star on Saturday night, and judging from a number of photos posted on FB, it was a doozie.....I mean the 'star' Giorgos Tsalikis, i find to be a total knob and mediocre singer, but hey, after 4 or 5 bottles of vodka even a cat being tortured sounds like an Emmy award winning artist........

Its been almost two years since our beloved Tex is gone, along with Easy Rider, so condolences to the Seniorita, we know this time is hard.........

a previous waitress extraordinaire was supposed to arrive today after a 3 year absence but after a night of debauchery in Mykonos missed the boat.

Tomorrow, the cousin of some locals arrives for the 3rd time to the Rock for a week, so lets hope she has a great time.

And finally, does anybody know where somebody can get a hold of tickets for Alkinoos Ioannidis on 2nd August cause the venue is of no frickin help whatsoever.......

Kali evdomada everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4th of July and all that jazz..............

4th of July was celebrated in typical style.....a huge BBQ at the Seniorita's with lots of alcohol!
The party was pumping, full of people and lots and lots of food.
Thanks to Mr. Paparazzi who started up the girl and the Jersey boys who took it over afterwards.
Also, i would like to mention the dangerousness of the vodka watermelon, deceptively tasty but had enough vodka in it to reawaken Lenin from his grave.

In other news, Jersey has gotten himself a new faster boat for his trips around the volcano, note to self, find a way to get a trip on that boat.

Kiwi seems to be a little bit loved up accordingly to reports.

Hotelier extraordinaire in training celebrates his birthday today, so Xponia Polla! Have a good one.

Our very own matriarch has some very hot relatives visiting from the Land Down Under.....if they are still here.

Considering my body has only just gotten back to normal after such an event as was the FOURTH, i dont have much else to write.

Oh wait, Mihalis Hatzigiannis is apparently searching for a house on Santorini.
Brangelina have bought a villa in Oia.

Well dammit, there goes the neighbourhood!

World Cup, and on a sad note.........

Its been a while, but hey, days just tend to mesh into each other here ok?

So, the World Cup has been on for a few weeks and group stages are nearly over. Greece are out not that its a shocker or anything but it must be said that they put up a good fight despite their shameful first match against South Korea.

I dont have much to say about this World Cup except the difference between this one and others i have seen are, well, its soooo frickin boring. The matches are boring, the players are boring. Usually you have some player or team that really outshines the rest and plays really exciting soccer but not this time....Maybe in the knock out stages they will show some passion.

I must also pass on my condolences to the Serbian team, they totally deserved to go through to the next stage. Ah well, next time guys.

On to a more serious note.

I am sad to report the death of somebody who was as much a Santorinian as anyone who has come and lived here in the last years.
I only found out today that he died about a week ago.
So, Rest in Peace Francesco Morici.
Very sad to hear you are no longer with us.
I have not heard details, nor is it really that important except he was not well for quite a time so i hope that now he is not suffering and at peace.

On a happier note, the return of a much loved friend to the island with family recently sparked a possible PERMANENT return to the island. That is of course, if the right property comes along, which i sincerely hope it does. Would be great to have you back Missy......Karterados needs some life in it!

The only gossip i have is that a certain servitora was seen canoodling with a transient visitor to the island a few weeks ago.

4th of July promises to be a great night, the annual BBQ is back on at the Seniorita's avli......CANNOT WAIT! (I promised the Original Sushi Boys I would do a beer bong in their memory)

Nothing else to report right now but will get my investigative nose working to get more juicy gossip for you readers.......
See y'all soon.

This heat is a killer......

The last 3 days have been unbearably hot on our little nisaki and the forecast says its just going to get hotter so i have some tips for those trying to endure it.
1. Put your sheets in the freezer and take them out 25 mins before you go to sleep, admittedly they will be a little damp but hey, a cold is a small price to pay for being able to sleep all night.
2. Greek men - learn to use deodorant.......its not funny anymore, you are going to make the tourists pass out from your BO.
3. Tourist men, please keep your shirts on, looking at your pasty hairy chests is enough to make any normal person want to hurl.
4. Cruise ship tourists, we are just aware as you that its frickin boilin...no need to proclaim it to all and sundry as you clog up our little walkways.

Also, on driving or more specifically asian idiots driving scooters. THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT BIG RED SIGN! It means DO NOT DRIVE DOWN THIS ROAD. Next time i catch you going through the main square and nearly killing me im gonna institute the teaching of the WWF and clothesline your yellow ass. Got it?
Also, when somebody trys to help you and tell you that you the road is closed, you should listen to them! They are not trying to ruin your holiday they are trying to stop you from getting yourself killed.

Thats about it for today, im way too overheated to think of any more witty comments so will get back to you readers when i have more matierial and my body temperature has gone back to normal.

Considering...................

I have been having a week of contemplating things in life.......
For instance, if you work for an entire month shouldn't you be entitled to be paid at the end of the month like you were promised by your boss?? I propose an interest be added to salaries to those bosses who always and i mean AlWAYS pay late......If it was a credit card or some other payment they would be subject to a fine right??? So why not add say a 5% surcharge for late payments of salaries?


Another thing, its seems to me that lately i have not been good at my communication skills or maybe what i have been trying to say keeps getting lost in translation.....
Or possibly the people i am trying to communicate with just like to antagonise and ignore me? What part of 'I dont like' is difficult to understand???


I heard on the news the other day about this Russian guy. Apparently this guy, 22 years old, is married and because of his wife's bitching he wanted to commit suicide.....Soooooo He jumped from the window in his apartment on the 5th floor. He sustained no injuries, picked himself back up and walked back to the apartment where his wife bitched at him for trying to kill himself so he threw himself outta the window AGAIN!!! and still sustained no injuries...Either God wants this guy to suffer or his bones are made of steel.....Either way, dont you think a divorce would be an easier course of action??

And considering relationships, I was thinking recently and just because you become a couple, doesnt not become a reason to lose your own individuality......I mean, when you are in a couple you become Her and Him, there never really is him on his own or her on her own, when you speak of the couple or either one of them you always associate them with their partner......its more commonly known as their other half! and therein lies the rub.....If now, these 2 people are halves, then when they were single were they only half then or 1 whole??? Its as if, being single means you are only half a person, but I dont find that true....In order to be a part of a couple shouldn't you already be a whole person on your own and your partner be the person you want to share that 'entirety' of your being with??? Or is it because people believe that we are only truly whole once we have met our partner? Before then, you were just some person lost looking for the rest of themselves to fill them up and therefore a singleton is not a whole person? Very philosophical i know, but it bears thinking about......

And so, on to some news.......
The Southerners celebrated their 19th wedding anniversary last week, so congratulations y'all!
The Kanadaisa is back for a weekend of debauchery from the Big Smoke of Athens so Kalos Oresis koritsi moy......and dont drink too many shots!
Another 'local' is entertaining her mom and sis this week so lets hope they are having a great time on the rock....
Mr. Chef celebrates his birthday on Sunday so Xponia Polla kai polixronos!!!!
And this Monday, the Fraulein is arriving from Germany to spend the summer with her beau!!!!!
Oh, i almost forgot, a big congratulations to the happy Couple, half santorinian half english celebrating their marriage on Sunday....Na zisete paidia!!!!!

Its been a while..............

Its been a while since i last blogged but i was trying to find something interesting to write about.
It seems that a certain tweedle dum and tweedle dee brother coupling are moving ahead with their plans to open their caldera cafe, but the question is, whats these rumours about them oweing money to IKA? If they are up to their eyes in debt, how are they going to pay their rent, let alone open the place without having a clean tax bill?
In other news, one of the island's golden couples has not been seen socialising in quite a long time, bringing the community to ponder.....Have they broke up? Are they anti-social wallflowers??? Is there something we dont know? Well, it seems as though that old adage of familiarity breeds contempt is reaching this once loved up duo but they are working on it. The question is, how hard?
A certain culinary master who left his previous employer high and dry came looking for money the other day 'for making the restaurant busy thanks to his hard work' and was promptly told to go to hell. Bravo! If he really cared about the reputation he had given the place, wouldnt he have shown more love for his food than the hit and miss customers experienced last year...consistency my friend, is the key. and secondly, just cause you decided you didnt want to come back and now are jobless is not your previous bosses fault....you left them remember?????
Another Santorini wedding is on the cards for the 6th June, although technically its on a boat but hey, a wedding is a wedding and any reason to celebrate in these times is good enough to shout about! So to the happy couple, all the best for your life together and congratulations!!!!!!

Now, I would like to point out something that may have escaped certain people recently. this is toward those gladly charging 7 euros for a frappe...ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FRICKIN MIND????????????????????????????????
I dont know if you watch the news, it doesnt really matter, you would have needed to be in another world to miss it....THERE IS A RECESSION! A GLOBAL ECONOMIC CRISIS!
Dont tell me that your customers are not paying for the coffee but the view....guess what, God made the view and God didnt charge us for it, so how can you justify 7 euros for some nescafe, water and ice??? Oh and some evaporated milk if its 'me gala'
Signomi re paidia, are you off your tiny head??? Is your Nescafe from a Fair Trade farm, handpicked by south American indigenous tribes and lovingly sent in special packs to Santorini on private yachts??? I dont think so.......
Therefore, get your head outta your ass and charge the right price and stop ripping people off........Or i will hand out the 1 euro frappe shakers from the supermarket to all the cruise ship tourists and they can sit on the bench outside Metropoli and look at the caldera FOR FREE!

Just a thought...................

Its Sunday and while i was looking out over the beautiful landscape of our little island i had a thought. Considering the economic crisis our country is in at the moment, wouldn't it make more sense for people not to bring the country to a standstill with stupid strikes which disrupt the country and only make us look like fools to the international community.
I get that the politicians robbed us for x amount of years but at the same time, didn't we ALLOW them to? I mean, weren't we complacent? We knew it was happening, we just ignored it because WE were ok financially. Now that the walls have come crashing down, we retaliate against a government that was saddled with this situation, when it was the previous administration who had used creative accounting to mask it. Hats off to Mr. Karamanlis, you had us sooo fooled for so long.
So, I am asking all my friends and readers (if i have any :-P ) if you live here on the rock and work here, get on to the media, let them know that Greece is safe. Its still the beautiful place it always was. I am just carrying on the message of a very good 'local' friend of mine....I always give props to my homies! :)
And to the rip-off artists that operate on our little island, i will OUT you! to anybody that will listen, You are not the REAL Santorini. this ain't a threat boys its a promise.....I am compiling a blacklist. You will be on it, your tourist trap excuse of a business will exist no longer on our beautiful island.

Now on to my next point of business, Its a beautiful day on Santorini, warm and sunny (thank god) so if you are not working get your ass to the beach! I know i would if i could.

And finally, a little tidbit of gossip that is a week old but only came to my attention yesterday:

So, some drunk ass Seniora in one of our nightclubs fell on her face from too much alcohol and possibly her crazy dance moves (which resemble an epileptic fit) and knocked into another patron of the same place, the knight in shining glasses who came to help her got a punch in the face! Fair??? I think not, considering the Seniora is well known as a frickin drunk nutcase and trouble maker....I have seen her many a time and wanted to dropkick her like a football just cause she irritates the crap outta me!

Also, Saturday night is when the high school kids go out, so any of the big clubs will be full of mentioned kids. So wait till you have gotten fairly inebriated and its late before going to these places....and if, guys, you find yourself hooking up with a cute little hottie, ask for ID before making your move or else her big Greek Daddy may come and kick your adult ass!

And thats all for this beautiful Sunday....so everybody KALO KYRIAKI!!! FILAKIA!!!!!!!!! (im off to pretend like im doing some work)

Sun is shining.......Weather is sweet.

My my, how i do like the weather to go back to how its supposed to be! That wind last week was making me look like a banshee. (note to self, when there is a gale force wind, tie your hair back) Also, it would help if i had some personal time to enjoy the good weather but unfortunately my amazing interpersonal skills are required at work for at least 8 hours of my waking life.
So, walking to work today on the main road, which is basically like playing chicken with traffic, I realised something. I know there are no sidewalks here, what i dont get is how cars and buses beep at you when you are as far inside on the road as you can physically be. Not to mention, all the scooters and 4 wheelers for rent taking up half the street so you are forced to walk into the line of traffic. Come on guys, what do you expect me to do? Play hopscotch on your rental motos???? I have now employed my own modus operandi in terms of walking to work. I put in my headphones and listen to my music so i dont hear all the greeks beeping and swearing at me for being in their way.
Sorry dude but if God intended us to have cars he would have given us wheels for legs....Just an opinion. And what the hell do you need an SUV for in Santorini???? Its a teensy island you can drive around in under an hour, i cant really see you using your 4 wheel drive all that much.
Has anyone noticed the proliferation of Asians on the rock? And there total lack of decorum? A friend of mine told me that he is about to lose it, they come into his shop and let wind, as in FART, without any shame or attempt to hide it. That may be acceptable in Seoul, or Tokyo or whatever, but it ain't here, so do it at home in your expensive hotel and not in our shops or we will be forced to invest in Gas Masks, your flatulence is WMD, poisonous and life threatening. Its a wonder Dubya didn't invade your country for terrorism!

OK, so now its time for gossip......
An eastern europian friend and one of the 'locals' has arrived back after a long couple of weeks away from home! Kalos Ertheis!!!!
Our very own Joseph Stalin lookalike celebrates his birthday today, xponia polla and go easy on the alcohol, you ain't 20 anymore!
The Kiwi is waiting for her plumbing to be fixed so she can move into her spiti.......
And thats it for this beautiful Thursday afternoon!!!
Take care......

The wind dissipates, the cruise ships invade......

Ok, so i know that tourism is our bread and butter on the island but i propose that cruise ship tourists should be given certain rules to follow when arriving into our lovely island....
1. screaming loudly on small streets trying to find your spouse or children when there are about 10 000 other people around is not acceptable.
2. Standing in the middle of our little cobblestone street to look at the 50th donkey souvenir while people on their way to work have to employ army maneuver tactics to pass you.....NOT COOL!
3. If you know you are coming to Santorini, you should have done your research...Namely, fira is built into a CLIFF!!! Therefore, there are loads and loads of steps so stop complaining about em!
4. Ah the dreaded Cable Car......if you know your time of departure, and see other ships in the caldera.....dont wait till the last minute to buy that donkey souvenir or have your cheap lunch, get there at least 45 minutes before or else you will join the cruiser Conga line....hundreds of badly dressed old people waiting to get on the cable car.
5. We ain't in Morocco or Tunisia so bargaining over prices unless its very expensive jewellery isn't worth it....Does it really matter that the plastic donkey (made in china) is 3 euros and not 2.50????? Not exactly a deal breaker people!!!!.


On to my next topic......Fanny Packs!
I know its a fashion statement in Greece, God only knows why Greek men consider it the best accessory after worry beads but lets be honest....you look like a dork, a big greasy sweaty sleazy nerdling.....so be a MAN........get a man bag, they are all the rage in New York, Milan....every other cool place on the planet!!!! And your cigarettes, worry beads and kinito will be perfectly safe! Not to mention, you still have room for keys, a sweater.....the lunch your mama lovingly made for you before you went to your KOLO DOULEIA!

Gossip:
Gwen and Gavin are somewhere on our lovely island.
Brad and Ang are househunting.......
A certain lovely 'local' couple have made it back after being delayed by the Icelandic dustcloud which disrupted travel services over Northern Europe...
Abramovich's yacht is gone, boo hoo.....not even a sign of the guy on the island.....
But his yacht has now been replaced by a white and navy one.....The question is....WHO IS IT?

RANT OVER! Thanks for reading!

Boy its windy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, im sitting here in my little office listening to the wind kick up all around me.....dammit people i thought it was summer already! How wrong was I?
Not to mention, the umbrella at the pool SNAPPED yesterday and the best part of the morning was spent trying to fix it..
My bro, the poor thing, made the mistake of coming out last night....Hit the bar at about 12, left about 2, but not before a certain person had insisted on copious amounts of shots and himself and my bro doing a submarine together...I still dont think bro has gotten over the amount of alcohol his liver is trying to cleanse out of his system. Besides the fact he only slept for about 2 hours before serving breakfasts at work.....Not pleasant!!!
And so onto gossip, or lack of gossip for that matter....What has happened to this place?? it used to be full of drama and juicy bits of island talk...apparently not anymore...
Or maybe im just too old and people dont tell me things anymore.
The only exciting thing is Brangelina were here last week with their international brood of kids....and there is a mysteriously large yacht sitting in the caldera....I think its Abramovich but its yet to be confirmed. thing is, whoever it may be, with this wind they ain't going anywhere in a hurry.....
Anyways......and so it begins.......The Santorini lately blog....Come back soon.....